Part 5

We can use diaries to change thinking.

Here’s an example of Bailey’s diary:

1) What was the event, thought, memory, or picture in your head?
At home in my bedroom thinking about being behind in homework and my Nanna.
2) Thoughts: What went through my head? What does it say about me? Am I using negative kinds of thinking? Rate how strongly I believe it (0-10).
‘I am a failure because I am behind in my homework after Nanna died’ (9) – noticing negatives
‘Not listening at school means I am going to fail and never end up becoming a designer’ (8) – predicting the future
‘If I think less about Nanna, I will forget her’ (9) – predicting the future
3) Feelings: What was I feeling? (You can have more than one feeling). Rate how strongly you feel it 0-10.
Sad 9; Stressed 7
4) Detective work: What would a friend say? Is there another way of viewing it?
I am forgetting I have passed all my class tests ok. Being behind doesn’t mean I am going to fail and not finish school.
It feels horrible the idea of forgetting Nanna. Deep down I know it’s not possible. It’s ok to give myself a break from thinking about it.
5) Result: How do you feel now? Rate how strong your feelings are now (0-10).
Sad 7; Stressed 4
 

Bailey felt less stressed and sad after doing the diary. The feelings did not go away down to 0. That is normal. As we talked about in Part 1, grief and the feelings that go along are normal.

Also, as we covered in part 4, experiments can be best to change our thinking.

  • In changing our thoughts, we are not pushing away or getting rid of upsetting feelings.

  • We know that pushing feelings away, or saying we shouldn’t have them, makes things worse. This will be covered more in Part 6.

 
 

  • Changing our thinking can help move feelings into the background a little, without pushing feelings away.

  • Changing our thinking can help us take action. After doing the diary, Bailey told the teacher what was going on and asked for an extension. Bailey felt relieved and less of a failure.

  • See Part 7 also for ideas on problem-solving to help with areas like Bailey did with talking to a teacher.

 
 
 

Page 7/9